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| How much bigotry against interracial/dating still exists - |
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victims cry
 Posted:
Sun Sep 24, 2006 12:29 pm |
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How much bigotry against interracial/dating still exists
I had been thinking of a topic like this since I read this case (in moderated crimes/trials) but was a little hesitant. Then i noticed a ctv'er had the nerve to start one, and since this is a moderated forum, the topic might fit here.
| Quote: |
SALEM, N.H. - A Maine couple accused of tying up their 19-year-old daughter, throwing her in their car and driving her out of state to get an abortion were upset because the baby’s father is black, a Maine sheriff said Tuesday. |
It just never really occurred to me that there still was such racism out in the world. Perhaps an isolated incidence here and there, but since this case, talking to ppl who are in inter racial relationships, it seems they werent as shocked as I was. Which shocked me! I just cant see why someone would hate bc of color, and worse, to the point of harming their own child.
Is it still pervasive? if so why?
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On Vacation!
Joined: 22 Mar 2006
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| Danse Macabre
Posted:
Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:38 pm |
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For one I am glad we can talk about this in a moderated forum because I would like honest discussion without insults and trolling. Not RU specifically but this is just a topic that can cause some hurtful things to be said.
I'll just be honest.
Me? I'm not racist, and have no problem with interracial dating and marriage, and babies. I have never dated outside my race much but it's because I never met anyone I wanted to date who happened to be, who also wanted to date me. Things could have been different if certain people I have met over the years were single and/or asked me out. I find people of all races attractive. BTW is it ok if I just say black instead of African American? I used to work with a center about 75% black/AA and they would just say black. They'd occasionally use AA but it's just easier in conversation to say black. Same as saying white instead of caucasian.
So anyway, sadly, I know SO many people who say "I am not a racist" but their views say otherwise. They're "not racist" but they would be upset if THEIR kid dated outside their race or had a biracial baby. They're not racist but they are too GOOD to date outside of their race themselves, and think a bit more lowly of people who do so, although they never say it publicly, they will make remarks in private conversation.  So yes it does exist and is not so uncommon either. I don't know anyone who would tie their daughter up and try to force her to have an abortion but I know plenty who would be sickened, and embarassed and disown her or treat her poorly. This is SICK and sad and it it makes me mad. In my experience with working with black women, it's kind of 50/50...some of them want their sons especially to only date black girls, others are like me and don't care about race. The white families seem to have more hatred and anger about it, of all those who have racist attitudes, JMO....just in my experience only.
I live in the South (USA) but I can tell you a LOT of the racist attitude I see comes from people who are NOT from the South so I hate to see it stereotyped as a southern backward ignorance thing. In college a lot of black kids, not from the South, would say that Southern blacks are ignorant and they wouldn't want to date them. My roommate was a black girl from the same city as me and she said the same thing.  People accused her of "acting white" when I don't see how you act anything other than yourself, you know? She preferred to date black guys but it was more of a class thing- she wanted what she felt was "upper class" guys, not "ghetto". Whatever that means.
I am truly one of those people who claims not to be racist, and isn't, but I do tune in to what I see around me, and I just don't understand it. We are ALL human.
It's kind of tangled up in a race AND class issue, I believe, VC...some people are racist and classist at the same time, and would be "more" ok if you're dealing with 2 "equal" upper class people.  I don't understand this either.
But at the end of the day I hear people say disparaging things about Heidi Klum and Seal, and Tiger Woods and his wife etc etc etc. It is terrible. Racism was a factor in the Kobe Bryant case I do believe....and if I recall, Kobe's own parents were not happy with his beautiful wife being Latina. (IIRC....I don't know much about Kobe but remember reading this during his trial).
It exists, I don't know why, I don;t understand it, and it makes me sad. It is very hurtful when adults who should know better take it out on innocent children. It is usually not the younger generations, it's the parents who are a problem. Teens will fall in love with different races and the parents will get all upset and angered.
Anyone agree, or disagree?
My biggest college crush was a Chinese-American. My parents would have hated that but if he would have ever asked me out or I had the courage to tell him...he was hot. Smart, good looking, tall...I would have had angry parents and I would have been on top of the world though. Before I was married I also had a crush on a black guy, and we probably could have had something, but he had kids (he was single) and I wasn't ready for that. That's all it was..he had kids...and I didn't want the baggage since I was so young, I was not ready to have kids and exes be a factor in who I was dating...
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** Banned **
Joined: 19 Aug 2006
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| Nena
Posted:
Sun Sep 24, 2006 2:04 pm |
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Im getting ready to run out and play.. but I wanted to at least post quickly something here, just to make sure this forum stays alive.
I will be back later tonight to elaborate... but yes... Racism is not only alive and well these days.. but in many ways, I think it rears its head moreso with each passing day.. albeit maybe not as 'openly' as in the past. I see and hear it everyday. EVERYDAY.
BBL...
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Joined: 24 Mar 2006
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| likestoflap-lol
Posted:
Sun Sep 24, 2006 2:34 pm |
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YES IS DOES EXIST- sad but true. it could be as simple as a comment -a look, a cold shoulder. just plain hate. may level of prejuduce not only for color. sometimes something said is a slap in the face. my friend said she hates it when someone says -you are very pretty for a black girl--or someone says you did not sound black on phone--she said this is some of the stupid things she hears every otherday as she works with the public. is it right -no --can we stop it -no--is it only about color-no--are people ignorant-yes ==bigotry is not archie bunker types -it could come from the little old lady or the 5 year old child--no borders . would i acccept everyone who is black -no more than i like everyone who is white -purple or polka dotted --color is not the issue but it will always be an underlineing factor in acceptance --sometimes it is more than that but if there is ever an issue it will boil down to perception of color--someone will use it to hurt someone else/ life is not always nice .
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** Banned **
Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 2433
Location: at the mall buying purple sandals to meet clients -oh my~!
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| Danse Macabre
Posted:
Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:32 pm |
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| likestoflap-lol wrote: | | YES IS DOES EXIST- sad but true. it could be as simple as a comment -a look, a cold shoulder. just plain hate. may level of prejuduce not only for color. sometimes something said is a slap in the face. my friend said she hates it when someone says -you are very pretty for a black girl--or someone says you did not sound black on phone--she said this is some of the stupid things she hears every otherday as she works with the public. is it right -no --can we stop it -no--is it only about color-no--are people ignorant-yes ==bigotry is not archie bunker types -it could come from the little old lady or the 5 year old child--no borders . would i acccept everyone who is black -no more than i like everyone who is white -purple or polka dotted --color is not the issue but it will always be an underlineing factor in acceptance --sometimes it is more than that but if there is ever an issue it will boil down to perception of color--someone will use it to hurt someone else/ life is not always nice . |
Oh, this drives me up the wall. At work one day I had someone who we had dealt with a lot on the phone come in and request to meet a black coworker who had helped him with a project as well as other "names" he recognized by phone but had never met in person. I told him "She;s over there" and ponted to a group of men and her. He said "Where?" I said "Well she's the only female down there at the moment, can't miss her!" and he expressed surprised that she's black because she doesn't sound it. Puh lease.
I also hate to hear people say someone is good looking "for a black person", oh I hate that more than anything. This also happens with overweight people who "have a very pretty face". etc. Some of it is just plain ignorance.
These are the types of things I see every day...racism is still there, even if we can all sit down on the bus.
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** Banned **
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