yankee-in-france wrote:.. well, when Joran was exhibiting signs of being a headstrong teenager and became a disruption in the family, I don't think it was thought to get him psychiatric care. It was teenage rebellion and many teenagers go through that and do not need psychiatric treatment. I cannot fault Anita and Paul for thinking that it was anything other than teenage rebellion and that the stage would pass. Were they permissive parents ... probably, but many a teenager with permissive parents becomes a worthwhile and productive citizen. FWIW, I don't see their permissiveness as the cause of any of this.
I also don't think it's not that simple. Too permissive isn't good of course, too strict can even be worse.
Parents have a great influence but there are so many other factors they can't control.
Brothers and sisters with the same upbringing often develop very differently from each other.